


Alone, Again

by Kiiyah



Category: Castlevania (Cartoon), 悪魔城ドラキュラ | Castlevania Series
Genre: Aftermath, Angst, Castlevania S2 EP 8 ending, Gen, Overthinking, for love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 13:35:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18942046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiiyah/pseuds/Kiiyah
Summary: After Trevor and Sypha leave, Alucard's facade cracks.





	Alone, Again

**Author's Note:**

> Based off the end of Castlevania S2 EP 8 "For Love"
> 
> It was practically begging me to write it. Oh, and I'm feeling really hollow myself.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy this self-indulgent angsty fic...

Once Sypha and Trevor had gone, his smile had slipped off his face. The task at hand seemed ever daunting, as the stark, sharp peaks of the castle loomed before him. Human or not, the emotions were there, and ever present.

Truthfully, Alucard had wished they’d stayed for at least one more day, or even a week. Going back into the castle alone meant not only cleaning up, but facing memories that he didn’t have the heart to stand. His careful composure was only the surface, inside he was drowning in guilt. He wasn’t sure this was his guilt to take upon himself, as his father had indeed lost control, and simply talking hadn’t been enough. Yet his mind couldn’t stop the out pour of memories, memories of his father sharing his knowledge of vast lands and mathematical concepts, things that roped in Alucard’s early in his life. Sometimes his mother would go out in the lush garden behind their house, treating Alucard the sweetest berries, and outlining which herbs were the best for treating minor and serious wounds. It wasn’t like Alucard needed that, since his healing ability was on par with his father’s, but maybe his mother had hoped he’d help others when it came the time too.

The sheer destruction of the lab was daunting, even for Alucard. Broken beakers sporadically spread across the floor, over turned books, and the faint scent of blood set him on edge. It wasn’t the idea of drinking blood that upset him so much, as through the years, getting used to that kind of thing was necessary, but the thought of losing all control. Alucard felt like there was a really fine line between his human emotions, and his mostly primal nature of a vampire. It was a steep reminder of what his father had accomplished under the influence of starvation and grief, a combination that lead to fatal consequences. Perhaps it was a part of him from the start, but he’d never considered his father’s life before, when he was human. It was too long ago, as time had made his father forget his rather less superior senses, trading them for something-- immortal.

Alucard had put himself in some sort of daze, picking a book here and there, analyzing to see if any of it could be salvaged, or less desirable, thrown to the wind.

The room was tinted with hues of blue and indigo, only serving to add more weight to the melancholy of his soul, if he even had one, that is.

After minutes of this same menial task, he left the room, trying to wound back the parts of him that felt like throwing itself to the wind, and pulling himself apart completely. It was a daunting task, trying to keep yourself together as you pick up the pieces of your shattered childhood, and somehow, he managed it.

Room to room he went, trying to ignore the ceaseless tug of his heart-- the aching urge to scream, or ravaged everything that he could, like a toddler who doesn’t get what he wants. If only he could just shove down his emotions with time, but the endless expanse of eternity in front of him felt boundless, abysmal to the fullest degree. You’d think being immortal meant more time to journey across all ranges of land, or to take the time to learn something new. Ruminating is really all it summed up too.

He came across a room, probably his mother’s, or father’s office, maybe even his own-- he didn’t really know. His mind had become a induce in a mind-boggling mess of guilt, sorrow, and recently recovered memories. 

He set a chair upright, along with the portrait of his mother, father, and him-- as a baby. It was striking how much he looked like his mother, but held his fathers strength and super-human powers, all while still retaining his human self. Then again, for all he knew, the human side of himself was also vampiric in nature, yet surety was not on his mind now.

He could almost see his child-like self now, inquisitive and naive, running from his mother as she played catch-up with his agile form. Then, he hadn’t really been running away seriously if he had, -he’d been long gone-, so she caught him easily. That easy warmth, and understanding she once held overshadowed him like a cocoon, something he desperately needed to calm himself, something he wish he could still feel. Alucard’s grieving had been long overdue, but who he was grieving for, was not exactly clear. Was it for his mother, who’d been killed due to fear and lack of understanding; his father who’d drove himself insane with grief, or himself, for nearly loosing himself in the face of it all, and becoming orphan at the same time.

Was he selfish for grieving over his lost self, trapped somewhere between the warmth of his childhood, and deaths of his parents?

 

Gone were the people who had some chance of helping him, and gone was the chance for some semblance of peace. If any.

The tears seemed to travel down his face as silently as he walked. Yet, his aching sobs wracked through his body like a whirlwind storm, taking along with it his steadiness and composure, and the man named Adrian Tepes all together.

Adrian Tepes? No, it was Alucard.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I intended this to be short. I don't think this will have a sequel, but I'll write one if enough people happen to ask for it. Or if I feel like writing it.


End file.
